[RD: This wordpress post is no longer active, and its contents were transferred to wordpress page W2MPCL on 12 December 2012.]
This is my lexicon of terminology used by liberated woman to communicate to prospective male suckers their irrational expectations and feeeeelings. This post, originally published 9 December 2012, is subject to modification to develop and perfect the content to my liking. Suggestions on lexicon changes may be made in the comment section below. I hope this dictionary will be useful to let other frustrated Western men know they are not alone, give us a laugh, and perhaps advance culture to our liking for a change. How absurd must orthodoxy become before a man will trust himself? Enjoy, and cherchez la femme.
—‘Reality’ Doug, 9 December 2012
All Men, Prove Not the Same – Prove my idiocy is correct, please.
Booty Calls, I Can Get That at the Bar – My sex is prohibitively expensive unless you meet me at the bar when I break down to get my needs met once or twice a year because I’m a hamster fed on media corn.
Booty Calls, Not Looking For – Been there; done that; finds me too easily.
Decent Guy, I Just Want – I lowered my standards and now you need only have one of the following: an Olympic gold medal, a private jet, fame, political connections.
Drama, No – I have a pet hamster one million years old, so do things my precultural way proven by the test of time.
Entertain Me – My last boyfriend was my dancing monkey, but my vibrator was more fun, so give me the three-ring circus if you want the haggard leftovers of this ride, and also be like totally hilarious, literally.
Independent – Cashing in on unnatural political preference.
Keep It Real – Indulge me; you’re the bitch, mister.
Keep Walking – I owe you nothing for suffering my faux independence.
Liars, Sick Of – I crush honest men with my sociopolitical power, and I’m sick of no one left but men pretending to be honest because I can’t honestly use them and truly express my feeeeeelings.
Love Me For Me – Love me in unassailable absolute terms for the relative position I deserve from someone who takes care of everything while I take the credit.
Must Make Me Laugh – I’m secretly depressed; fix it.
My Life is Perfect and I Just Need Someone To Share It With – My logic is inscrutable so obey.
My World, My Kids Are – Taking applications for my personal slave ’cause raising kids as a single mom is hard even with unearned privileges.
*New People, Love to Meet – Entertain me until the novelty wears off.
One, Looking For The – I deserve the alpha of all of humanity because we are all one collective and I’m your special princess, but not for you personally, just alpha.
Real Men, Where Are The? – I fought hard to fashion rank-and-file society into my pedestal, making me a real woman, so why can’t I find a man of flesh and blood as good as Daddy State?
*Settle for Less, I Won’t – I am Goddess with a capital ‘G’, and my $%!& don’t stink.
Single Mom with Full-Time Job and Going to School – Devout slave, unavailable and here to tease your heart and penis to pretend I have a life.
Someone Who Knows What He Wants – Someone dumb enough to want me on my impossible terms as much as I do.
Strong – Determined to keep leveraging political preference, the consequences be damned.
*Strong Enough To Be My Man – Wanted: One superhuman bondsman to not break under maximum load of this she-child’s desires.
Surprise Me – Have unusually great wealth and lavish it and your time on me.
True Love – Duty and service will not be motivators of my partnership with you, that’s work.
Whore, I’m Not A – I was a whore to birth three kids by two fathers by age 22, but I’ve learned from my mistakes and you can too, for the rest of our lives together.
* – Recent modification.
Lexicon last updated: 11 December 2012.