Ingrish of the Day

Here is your Ingrish of the Day:

ContentLoadingProgressBar implements a ProgressBar that waits a minimum time to be dismissed before showing.

Just a minor handicap to the genius programmers still thinking in English precision. Absolutes are the past of modernity. If it feels like it works, it will work. I really feel like I could use a government check or an Affirmative Action/H1–B paycheck for my feelings because I’m trying to be a productive member of society.

What? Not for regular pleb white men you say? Privilege you say? In what used to be my fucking country and my prosperity? I see.

The translation to genius English would be:

ContentLoadingProgressBar implements a ProgressBar that waits a minimum time to permit cancellation before being shown.

Notice how in the original Ingrish the contextually relevant idea of cancellation is ‘efficiently’ embedded into the clusterfuck wrap that would have been the fundamental design idea of a minimum before-display time delay. It’s still there in the genius English too. We also have the ProgressBar waiting like a sentient being.

The translation to less genius English would be:

ContentLoadingProgressBar implements a ProgressBar, the display of which is delayed a minimum time to permit the circumvention of its display entirely.

Plain English is not a condensed clusterfuck of good intentions. For clarity, the embedded idea should be expressed in its natural context (or not at all):

ContentLoadingProgressBar implements a ProgressBar with minimum time periods imposed before and during its display to avoid an annoyingly quick flash of the ProgressBar. If the call to hide() is received before the ProgressBar is displayed, its display is circumvented entirely. If the call to hide() is received after the ProgressBar has been displayed and before the minimum display time has occurred, the response to the hide() call will be blocked for the remainder of the minimum display time. Apparently, the minimum period settings are handled internally by ContentLoadingProgressBar.

Yours in postmodern bliss and affluent poverty,

—‘Reality’ Doug, 28 November 2013

P.S. Not paying in money for a potentially useful education is infinitely better than assuming the costs of obtaining a worthless degree, especially if you will not be granted forgiveness privilege for student debt from on politically correct high at the expense of supposedly privileged others still producing for the man at dignified ‘jobs’. Here’s to the 70 hour work week despite exponentially advancing technological means of productivity.

About ‘Reality’ Doug

I'm feed up with herd people, so civil and uncivilized, these feckless barbarians with manicures. Where is Galt's Gulch? and where are the people to go there? Who am I? Who is John Galt?
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