As all of my regular readers know—all two or so of you, and I do appreciate it; I realize I’m not setting the world on fire here—I have been developing my emotional detachment. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I am learning to spend my emotions like I spend my money, for my benefit. I expect ROI. You should too. So I can look back and see the first two stages: (1) full detachment, and (2) conscientious emotional spending.
At the first stage, I discovered ocular focus calibration with the off default. At the second stage, after you can routinely be detached on purpose, I discovered that withholding my emotions can lead to offers, solicitations, to get my emotional attachment. First of all, don’t sign up for commitment. Don’t pay with a blank check. Only accept concrete value for your well-demarcated emotional value.
If a woman can manipulate you, she can’t trust you. That’s her brutish nature. She can only trust the man who manipulates his social environment better than she can, in part because other women can’t manipulate him either, which brings me to the alpha pause.
When you are ‘negotiating’ with some female that wants your emotional value, or even a guy, like some demagogic type, you will face rhetoric not straightforward logic. The relevant logic is not in the topical substance but in the advantages of leverage the rhetoric structure can afford, and rhetoric therefore works by emotional attachment to ‘false gods’. Obviously, the first offers that someone gives you will suck almost always. You will have to beat down her rhetorical siege, and I may have a post coming with a real life example, if I can remember enough to make it work, and if I can get the time to write it with attention to structure.
For now I am going to give you a technique that will improve your results with initial conversations pregnant with possibility. This is after presenting yourself with good vibe, rubbing sheeple’s instincts the right way with your body language broadcast (including what messages you don’t send). This is after triggering attraction, approaching. This is ‘negotiating’ if and how you might relate, even for a one-night stand: this is a Narrative Negotiation. Once you get the Lizard Brain to say yes, you need to give the Rationalization Hamster a reason to make an exception to the default no. That vag leads to a 9-month commitment on a gamble that makes her vulnerable, could kill her during labor, and could lead to a subsequent commitment of years.
She will try to hook you emotionally. She will assume a position of authority: moral authority, fashion authority, legal authority, etc. She will play the victim, the needy, the diamond in the rough. You need to give a fuck with your logic of reason but never with your emotion of your limbic system. When she makes a bad offer, when she makes another shit test, when she breaks off the interaction to test you mettle, when she tries to take control of your behavior, your emotion alert alarm goes off.
In my past, when that alarm went off, I did not hear it as a warning bell. I translated it so fast into the emotional imperative conditioned into me (a false god) by others who parasitically feed off of others, who build themselves up by tearing others down. If you don’t play along with their narrative, you are risking their lives as incorrigible parasites. That is why they make narrative control a priority.
I want you to pause, and not salute that uncomfortable alarm like you just want to quiet it down. I want you to make friends with that alarm. I want you to say to it, “Thanks for warning me. I will give this pending social matter my full attention right now and be cautious.”
When that feeling comes upon you, you know ‘it’s on’. Some kind of con, some kind of raw deal, something good for her without regard for what’s good for you.
Do what’s good for you or don’t do shit.
If someone makes you do something, it should be either: (a) a good offer, or (b) a relatively good compliance offer vis-a-vis punishment risk and you can’t kick that someone’s ass and now is not the time for going out to get the most bang for the buck. If you are confused on (b), you don’t need to understand what I mean.
What I suggest you do when that emotion alert alarm goes off is pause. If she is talking, listen. Actually, you might wish to tune her out and just observe her body language. Maybe skim for keywords until you get something good like the word ‘dick’ very close to the word ‘suck’. The one thing you must do is a cost-benefit analysis on the narrative she is selling you. Once triggered by your realization of the pivotal potential of your subject’s construction by word or deed, the alpha pause ends only when the subject stops talking and waits patiently for a moment or when the entire interaction is aborted, whether by you or the subject.
The alpha pause offers these benefits:
- It demonstrates high, and infers (in your opinion) higher, value by your impregnable integrity of emotion and of social frame.
- It buys you time to logically assess the potential value transfers according to the narrative and role assignments.
- It forces her to chase you by chasing your response.
- It forces her to respect your control over yourself.
- It forces her to submit to your control to get the value of your response and anything more.
- It maintains any genuine opportunity to negotiate a narrative deal beneficial to you while quickly ending interactions with those who can or will only give you problems.
After your alpha pause, your response should address the proposed or assumed narrative and probably should not refer to the logic of the content of what the subject said. Your answer should essentially and functionally be this: “I’m not the bitch in our pairing.” You might wish to go further and express not only what you don’t want but what you do want or bust.
It is very, very difficult to properly DGAF. If you don’t struggle with it, you aren’t doing it right. The trick is to care with your reason but not your emotions, to have a locus of control in your logic and to make your emotions your tool and to not let others control you by proxy as the tool of your emotions with that alien creature (not a real part of you) called an emotional imperative.
It would not hurt you to practice on women who are registering on the boner test but not passing with flying colors. Exercise those DGAF muscles at low sexual tension and build up, son. (I’m admitting to myself that I am old beyond a doubt, and I’m going to have fun with it. If I pass on some sanity in a pathetically cruel world to a younger man, that’s a legacy I care to have.)
The trick is to not burn the bridge. AWALT. In essence, per the Mystery Model, I am talking about the comfort phase (or stage, I’ve seen it described both ways, but certainly the second of the three major divisions of the MM escalation stack). Apparently, I have had a breakthrough and am finally getting to the intermediate level.
Instead of just trying to get laid, try to get value on terms that respect you as a man. I don’t want to get laid like a thief in the night. I want to get laid like a boss.
BTW, a friendly reminder that Spring Break 2015 for college/university students in the United States is a fortnight prepended with a day or two, essentially running from Friday night, March 6th through Sunday morning, March 22nd.
I don’t give a fuck how old you are, these represent the best in class of liberated American women. The only exception of sorts would be if you are under 18 and know what to do and why, but that is about how young you are and hardly a possibility for any man here to improve himself and his lot in life, such as it is on the IMF Tax Farm, USA Division or your division elsewhere on our planet. These women 18–22 offer the most and cost the least of American women in general, and the Spring Break narrative with the getaway(-from-accountability) location makes the price in money spent on her zero and the effort spend on her next to nothing. Watch out for jail bait, especially at Daytona.
—‘Reality’ Doug, 02 March 2015