The Field Data
I went out Friday and Saturday nights. The interactions were limited, and of those two stand out. Ms. Friday (night) was a late 30s black woman with amazing booty employed as something like a corrections officer. Ms. Saturday (night) was a 40ish white woman in shape for her age who worked out most days, worked as a corporate trainer, and had ample breasts. Yah, the economy is fucking ruined by feminism.
When I saw Ms. Friday by the bar, away from the dance floor, our eyes met, and I did my proprietary Wonder Approach™ (a type of direct approach). She said she couldn’t dance and I said she could, noting her race. Within a minute she was shaking my penis in her butt cheeks. She is only the second woman to give me the proper hotdog-in-buns grind, and the other woman was white and in her early 40s. I notice that half of young women like to just pound my balls. Protect yourselfs, gents, and learn ’em.
Some time later, I felt the chemistry, I think, and she got some lip balm and put it on her lips. I wanted to kiss her. Hell, I wanted to fondle her breasts and kiss her. That’s what I felt. I have been working on my connection reality, trying to get the social feedback loop with eye contact and body language. Did she feel me too afraid to pounce? Now that I am editing this as a draft I realize I did not feel a connection beyond her generally pleasant vibe. The connection was rather muted, so not exactly what I would expect to be real vagina tingles, but now that I think of it, maybe it is an important clue.
I was afraid of getting thrown out for what I wanted to do. Masculine fear is a tingle killer. I am not sure if that is why the seduction went south, just dropped off. I feel like I missed a turn somewhere.
Ms. Saturday was similar. I opened with talk because I could see that dance would alienate her (reading is fundamental), even though she was on the edge of the dance floor. We had an excellent conversation. Her cousin was, I was told, ‘drunk in the car’. She had just had four shots. I shared my no-more-tequila story. She told me that guys kept offering her shots. I offered only conversation. We shared some life history. It did not occur to me that those shot were bought for her by male clubbers that night at that venue. The emphasis she put on rejecting shots as if it were somehow repulsive threw me off. Still some blue pill conditioning to work off. Certainly, she could have bought her shots early or accepted shots earlier. I simply would like to be faster and more accurate at acquiring social context.
It seemed like we bonded. You never bond with a liberated woman. Dread and survival instincts do wonders in a patriarchy. It is really important to learn player detachment, but there was ‘bonding’ of some sort. At some point we were out dancing, her idea, and she became relaxed and maybe a bit tingly. She looked trusting. Maybe I should have gone in for some touching and kissing, but I didn’t. Restraint had served me to that point, and it is important to establish higher value that the target woman. As noted above,it occurs to me during editing that Ms. Friday had the same body language of unspecific comfort. Fuck. Could it be that simple per the Mystery Method? That’s why I blog despite no more than a handful of regular readers, whom I appreciate.
Ms. Saturday had commented on a sexy, shapely, and very thin black woman grinding with a not sexy white man. In hindsight, I think it was a shit test to determine cock carousel legitimacy. I started off with nonsense about letting the world do what it wants since the world does not listen to me. Beta. But I recovered and said that I had enjoyed grinding in the past. I think that was the right answer. Was she testing my character for adequate baseness for casual sex?
I did not make that connection at the time. What I did do, as the last part of the interaction of my initiation, was try to get the tall black babe and Ms. Saturday to kiss. They happened to be socially interacting by random proximity on the dance floor. I saw Owen get women to make out in a video, and that was an opportunity to try out the move. My first try. Didn’t work. The tall black woman was the wife of the beta, and beta he was, though likely moneyed. At least she made it her job to please him the way she maintained and used her body, unless she was an escort, which I just though of now as I edit this. That makes more sense.
Soon thereafter, a tall young guy moves in on Ms. Saturday. I was totally not on her, not mate guarding, etc. She puts her hand half on his waist, half on his ass, and I knew it was over. I walked by to find green pastures and she put her hand full on my ass and said, to the effect, “He’s been trying to talk to me all night.” Total bullshit. It now occurs to me as I edit this that he bought her up to four shots of tequila. Usually impersonal beta provisioning breeds contempt, as the theory of alpha fux-beta bux goes.
Yes, I hoped the guy got buyer’s remorse. It occurred to me much later that she was instinctively giving me an opportunity to make strong eye contact and take her back. But did she want me to? I think not as I edit this. Regardless, I was so concerned about maintaining alpha frame that I did not realize per my instincts that I might have had a chance to take her back. She had her hand full on my ass, and I took her words seriously. However, she might just wanted to have her ego stroked by two guys simultaneously chasing hard by fighting over her. Since women lie with both body language and words, it is hard without informed experience to figure this shit out. It is also possible she had became intoxicated during my interaction with her. It crossed by mind at the time. And, yes, as I edit this, I could have pumped up her buying temperature and not phase shifted into comfort.
The cure, as always, is abundance. I took what I could get, the abundance mentality. For sure, she got away from me and kissed the new guy nonstop. Now the beta reaction is to be emotionally hurt. I am sexually and socially frustrated, but there is no bonding with liberated women. Good exercise. Good lesson. Good player hardening.
There are similarities in the promising interaction that faltered just before more physical contact may have been appropriate to keep target interest. I subsequently hit on other women in the club and got nowhere. I hit on a guy’s woman and he put an arm out across my chest. I never felt worried, and I never triggered a violent response. I must not look socially weak as in easily beat up and I must not look unreasonable as in desperate and needy.
My presence with men was good that Saturday night. One guy walking by gave me a fist bump, and when I was walking to another place a guy from a group of smokers standing near the bar patio held out his hand to shake hands, which I did without missing a stride. My presence with men seems to be improving. Great!
Since I have so few substantial interactions with targets, I have to make the most of my time by theorizing with what empirical evidence I get. Treating the previous social bottleneck with attention to gregarious instincts seems to have helped. The new immediate concern is, apparently, escalation to durable physical connection that can be leveraged for sex on demand. The kiss has been allusive and I think or feel like I am close to that hurdle, not that I don’t have prerequisite basics to shore up.
I could be wrong at identifying my new sticking point, but whatever it is—hey, Doug, not transitioning to comfort?—I am going to experiment per this analysis and otherwise continue with the whole field testing with focus on my predominant social patterns. By working on my skill set for reliable results, I forgo being awkwardly closer to notches now. The woman is property of the state. My skills are mine.
I gather I have an escalation hitch after gaining some attraction with some connection. The question I ask from the two outings is: What IOIs are necessary for escalation? And as I edit this, I think the unspecific happy and trusting all-body vibe might be it.
Local Market Analysis
As an aside, I want to describe the local sex market as I currently interpret it. The information from Ms. Saturday was insightful. She was from out of town. She probably was getting drunk from those four shots and the vodka tonics as I was talking to her. She did not drink the whole time I saw her. I don’t want a drunk chick, and my threshold is substantial buzz for the legal liability not staggering drunk for the puke liability, also unacceptable. I want women to be drunk on my charisma. It is noteworthy that a woman in shape for 40 was in demand like she apparently was. Earlier that night I overheard a young, stylish black guy hitting on a woman, “You don’t look at all 40.” That and the younger man that swooped in on Ms. Saturday to get a make out that apparently lasted for minutes leads me to think that women are way fucking overpriced in this market, and I mean relative to the big city markets. Also, I am noticing male foreigners out at night.
These are the causes of overpriced pussy and underpriced dick that come to mind: (1) The usual government policies of behavior regulation and economic redistribution, (2) southern precociousness and rural reputation, and (3) foreign executives. Here in the Deep South, females are sexually active very young. There are social consequences that women of some age threshold, perhaps 18 years, care about; so they want a qualified beta man with a career and reputable friends. In other words, the Southern cock carousel starts and finishes younger here than elsewhere. Outside of a large city, social circles are strident cliques as usual. The net exporting of US dollars per the US trade deficit has caused German and yellow Asian companies to purchase means of production here in the United States. Thus, there is an expanded local supply of careerist men. Even if there were as many careerist women here as there are men here, and I doubt it, those women would expect men to have as much career success and money, or else I would see crazy desperate cougars on the hunt. What I saw Saturday night was desperate cubs on the hunt. The skew in the SMP was disturbing. If a substantial proportion of foreign executives are women, they are not impacting the night life.
Creating emotional attachment is very difficult,and trying to work around the moneyed de rigueur is proving difficult. Day game would likely be more amenable to emotional investment since pragmatic necessity virtually requires the chance encounter and initial return on investment requires adequate hook time. As as result, adequate time for investment is virtually required in a single and likely first chance meeting. That is nothing new, but it is exceedingly difficult in the market here. Day game suffers from substantially more lack of selection, and that’s saying something.
Reconsideration of Kiss Value
As my best and only working guess, I failed to escalate physically, to the kiss in particular, except I have a second idea that no comfort exchange was more precisely the culprit. Bear in mind that I have grabbed vaginae on the dance floor with no problems. I get being able to do that, when I legitimately can, and yet not being able to kiss the woman. There is a certain display of status women make on the dance floor, and the connection is not to the new man dancing with her.
That damn kiss eludes me. I know the traditional expression of invite: (1) close facial proximity, (2) head tilt to present the lips forward, (3) either wide open puppy dog eyes or closed eyes. I had no such signals. Are there other IOIs?
I expect there is a relevant distinction between courtship, a cultural negotiation with long-term implications, versus seduction, an animal negotiation with short-term implications. I posit there are animalistic IOIs that indicate escalation to the physical is necessary for the seduction to continue. Naturally, I searched the Château Heartiste archives.
“Kiss Close In Front Of Her Friends” dated 04 August 2008:
A very simple way to know if a girl is ready for you to kiss her is to lean into her ear as if you were going to tell her a secret, and if she doesn’t move her head backward and she lets your cheek rest flush against her cheek, you can pull back and safely go for it.
I had the check to cheek with Ms. Saturday, before she thought we should go dance. I noted it with instinctive arousal and suppressed it. Was it a fitness test? Maybe it was, but maybe not in the sense of testing for premature interest taken to be unfit neediness, as I had been worried about. Perhaps I am further along in the escalation and need to recognize the shift from attraction to comfort. Hmmm. I was more right than I knew when I wrote that, most likely. Even if it was a test of neediness, even if she would have rejected the advance, it might have been the winning move just the same. CH says as much, so the next cheeky love I feel will be met with advertised physical escalation.
Ever wonder how the yadstop or yad stop got it’s name? I quick perusal online was fruitless, but there is no plausibly inferable possibility based on the word ‘yad’ in the content of English language. Yad is a transliteration from Hebrew meaning Jewish ritual pointer, and that’s everything I’ve got on yad besides the day gamer Yad.
“The Power Of Game: From Hello To Kiss In Ten Minutes” dated 19 August 2009 features a day #/k-close by Yad. It is an excellent infield performance of seduction and videography. You would do well to study it with Heartiste’s comments.
Yad’s primitive (since women are not cultural and highly vacuous) and gently warm eye contact is perfect at 4:00. (My eye contact awareness from a third-party perspective is new. Years ago a co-worker told me eye contact was the secret, but I watched him do it repeatedly and never figured it out. He was a waiter. I was a bus boy. He could not explain how it worked.) The connection reality, as I call it, happens because both Yad is watching her watch him and she is watching Yad watch her: a social feedback loop. When a woman wants a man instinctively, she gives him honest and plain body language and watches how he watches her. The watching is probably very subconscious. She certainly experiences the interpreted processing of the sum of sensory inputs as feeling how the man she likes feels her, according to her infallible theory of his mind. lol
Same eye contact of connection reality at 8:44, during the warm afterglow after the ice-fire sequence (first two parts of the calibrated cold-hot-cool sequence). Note the eye contact comes with zero complications and zero cultural value. The departure was amoral matter-of-fact animal candor. Placing an order for casual sex is like placing an order for pizza if you do it right. You will note that Yad is not much more physically beautiful than you, which along with the evidence of performance and recognition is why I know the guy is good and worth studying. I temper his close a bit with the fact that a Russian babe in London, presumably on vacation or otherwise free of social circle repercussions (except for the little online video thing), is going to be easy as far as I can tell. My market is far more difficult. I’d love to see Owen Cook work this area and give his impressions.
Could it be that the kiss has means value in addition to ends value? I expect the freedom women have to be promiscuous is hard to fully appreciate without player skills. There are probably a dizzying number of behavioral consequences, but those relevant to my field results are potentially salient. It seems that I was following blue pill conditioning. Closing presumes property rights, a courtship mindset. Seduction never sleeps, never terminates. There is no higher purpose for animals, and burning reproductive or survival bridges is not evolutionarily fit in the pecking-order churn. Women love to acquire orbiters, for example. Women require animal conquest by the male for sexual interest. I surmise kiss attempts that are not premature or late per female instincts evince the well-calibrated and desirable alpha male.
New Incremental Redesign
My game modification requires some background to explain the motivational logic that created it.
I have observed the absence of fitness tests of late. I think I am preemptively thwarting the setup of them by being more in touch with body language communication. I think the game becomes less coarsely granular and more smooth with proficiency. Having the right tool for the job makes all the difference.
I also have recently become aware of body language sabotaging my conscious interests and conscious interests sabotaging my body language. An old example of the former, probably the first one I ever noticed from my sarging efforts, was an isolated case of recognition until recently. It’s plain obviousness makes it instructive.
I wanted to open a young female coming into a building as I was going out. I smiled and verbally hit on her as I got out of her way to the side. I should have just blocked the doorway, at least taken up space as if she were not there. My body language said, “come on through!” Total beta. The social dynamics of a set open works for the same reason. If you don’t open the set as a whole, your body language and moreover your social mode strongly enforce the idea that you are not good enough to interrupt the group. They, as sheeple relativists, assume the reverse, that you are not good enough for the group at all, even for one solitary member of it. Fucking sheep herd and herd hard.
Lately, I have been noticing the I am sabotaging myself with body language that communicates my expectations for the social interactions concerning whether or not they continue or escalate. It occurs to me the women are reading my body language and following its direction. I am almost imagining my social limitations into manifestation. It is important to cleanly read the woman, perhaps inferring what I want or is wanted (by ‘assuming the sale’ per CH) with circumscribed coaching. Circumscribed at least because is is self-defeating to imprint one’s own limitations and reflect them back. The goal of seduction is to give her what she truly wants from deep inside as the most able vendor. That read has to be clean and true to be useful beyond a charismatically forced moment or two.
If I have an escalation hitch on the kiss
close open, I need to remove it. Necessity requires that manly conquest of the woman and being the higher-value prize moderate each other. The calibration is crucial.
I may have created a complicated and false solution to the most salient immediate problem, but I wrote it and I’m posting it. It shows how to think through the empirical evidence with time enough to revise the analysis. I think it will be useful for fluid calibration.
My idea, what I suppose is an overcomplicated solution as I edit this, is to generalize the concept of the freeze out, a tool to disarm last-minute resistance. I am hereby calling it icing. It is connotatively different the closing. Closing indicates termination but icing indicates a pause that may or may not be resumed. That’s what women do. They are players that only understand social strength from a player’s perspective. Stuck in the player’s mindset, they are more or less exclusively attracted to players. Icing is also important for legal liability involved with male sexual pursuits. The target must not emote having been taken by a low-value man, not feel like a conned mark; all women are players to be played indefinitely, they are dangerous. It is not enough to f-close. You want to leave her wanting more sex.
In the video critiqued by CH, Yad iced into submission the resistance to his properly telegraphed kiss intent, maybe gloriously a token resistance that makes her feel high value and special, then had the fire, then iced her for later kissing. Contrast her looks with his and know what modern seduction is all about. When you get the ready high-value target, you jump on that.
In summary, I think the x-close terminology has a self-defeatist connotation that requires conscious contradiction. Maybe we need to revise our PUA jargon with superseding x-open terminology and the added verb ‘ice’. Stacking plates is better than stacking conversation threads. Instead of ungainly escalating in crude homogeneous chunks, flow preemptively with the target while coaxing her to share her wild sexual nature as it really is. There is no mate locking intrinsic to the #-close, k-close, or f-close. Liberated omen are unceasingly wistfully present and flaky. If you want an escalation level lock, you must maintain it yourself. The IOIs of traditional courtship may at times diverge greatly from the IOIs of non-cultural seduction. In fact, indicators of escalation opportunity might not functionally be IOIs. At this point, I am not sure what to call it for lack of empirically repeatable success.
Currently, I am struggling to invoke my animal side and harmonize it with that of target. Congruency is the rubric. The kiss open toward a stable connection upon which to build is the concrete immediate goal. Hey, Doug, sounds like comfort. Fine then, with further reflection, I think I should work on comfort in general and let the kissing happen naturally, except on purpose. Smooth is the natural look, sound, and feel.
If I have really just now developed proficiency to reach the comfort phase, it took me three and a half years. Nothing great, but I don’t think that is too shabby under the circumstances. Repetitive empirical truth is the efficacious ingredient.
—‘Reality’ Doug, 13 July 2015