W2MPCL

This is my lexicon of terminology used by liberated woman to communicate to prospective male suckers irrational expectations and feeeeelings. This wordpress page, originally published 9 December 2012 as a regular wordpress post, is subject to modification to develop and perfect the content to my liking. Suggestions on lexicon changes may be made in the comment section below. I hope this dictionary will be useful to let other frustrated Western men know they are not alone, give us a laugh, and perhaps advance culture in the forward direction for a change. How absurd must orthodoxy become before a man will trust himself? Enjoy, and cherchez la femme.

—‘Reality’ Doug, 12 December 2012

Woman-to-Man Pedestaled Courtship Lexicon (W2MPCL)

A

All Men, Prove Not the Same – Prove my idiocy is correct, please.

B

Booty Calls, I Can Get That at the Bar – My sex is prohibitively expensive unless you meet me at the bar when I break down to get my needs met once or twice a year because I’m a hamster fed on media corn.

Booty Calls, Not Looking For – Been there; done that; finds me too easily.

D

Decent Guy, I Just Want – I lowered my standards and now you need only have one of the following: an Olympic gold medal, a private jet, fame, political connections.

Drama, No – I have a pet hamster one million years old, so do things my precultural way proven by the test of time.

E

Entertain Me – My last boyfriend was my dancing monkey, but my vibrator was more fun, so give me the three-ring circus if you want the haggard leftovers of this ride, and also be like totally hilarious, literally.

F

Friends First and Take It Slow – I can think this through for myself, mister, and if I delay my vaggy verdicts, I’ll pick good this time.

G

Games, Tired of – I’m tired of loosing my instinctual mind games of pack maneuvering that only a patriarchy could break me from living.

Games, We Are Too Old for – I am too old and used up for games with the fun players anymore, and now I want you nice lame guys around my age to step up and redeem my used and expired ass at full price since I will take you and blame you at this point in my life, honey, so do my honey-do chores for me but never truly fulfill me ’cause I feel like I’m twenty—yes, that mature where it works against you, lmfho.

I

Independent – Cashing in on unnatural political preference.

J

Just <a ‘Y’>, Just <Looking for ‘Z’> – Group-indentifying livestock here expecting her cookie-cutter needs to be met.

*Just Looking – I am NOT hopelessly depreciated if I pretend I’m not trying to land the man I’m entitled to manipulate love.

Just Sex, I Want More Than – I will not recognized the fair market value of my squandered civilized utility because Daddy Gubbermint promises that my money, career, and experience make me highly desirable; because the wreckage of masculinity necessary for my liberated success lays conveniently bare only real men to be my The One; because all the younger, hotter, childless, and more supportive women are in line behind me, the All-World Princess; and because gubbermint guns will make able men man up and be better off—jeez, guys, come get you some.

K

Keep It Real – Indulge me; you’re the bitch, mister.

Keep Walking – I owe you nothing for suffering my faux independence.

L

Liars, Sick of – I crush honest men with my sociopolitical power, and I’m sick of no one left but men pretending to be honest because I can’t honestly use them and truly express my feeeeeelings.

Love Me for Me – Love me in unassailable absolute terms for the relative position I deserve from someone who takes care of everything while I take the credit.

M

Making a Difference – Feathering my nest at the expense of our tree; so yah, I’m making a difference all right, but why doesn’t the Department of Nesting fix this shaking when it’s windy?

Must Make Me Laugh – I’m secretly depressed; fix it.

My Job, I Love – I produce feelings at work better than any man ever could.

My Life Is Perfect, Just Need Someone To Share It With – My logic is inscrutable, so obey.

My World, My Kids Are – Taking applications for my personal slave ’cause raising kids as a single mom is hard even with unearned privileges.

N

New People, Love To Meet – Entertain me until the novelty wears off.

O

One, Looking for The – I deserve the alpha of all of humanity because we are all one collective and I’m your special princess, but not for you personally, just alpha.

P

Players, Go Away – The fathers of my children are all players, but all you men will do the right thing this time so my primitive hypergamous instinct selects a man correctly because I’m in charge of my life and I can’t help myself.

R

Real Men, Where Are the? – I fought hard to fashion rank-and-file society into my pedestal, making me a real woman, so why can’t I find a man of flesh and blood as good as Daddy State?

Relationship, I Want a – Whaaa, I got OLD, but prove me wrong and be my supportive, mesmerized sucker.

S

Settle for Less, I Won’t – Sloppy fifteenths now selling at triple the virginal rate for a healthy patriarchal market.

Single Mom With Full-Time Job and Going to School – Devout slave, unavailable and here to tease your heart and penis to pretend I have a life.

Someone Who Knows What He Wants – Someone dumb enough to want me on my impossible terms as much as I do.

Strong – Determined to keep leveraging political preference, the consequences be damned.

Strong Enough To Be My Man – Wanted: One superhuman bondsman to not break under maximum load of this she-child’s desires.

Surprise Me – Have unusually great wealth and lavish it and your time on me.

T

True Love – Duty and service will not be motivators of my partnership with you, that’s work.

W

Whore, I’m Not a – I was a whore to birth three kids by two fathers by age 22, but I’ve learned from my mistakes and you can too, for the rest of our lives together.


* – Recent modification.

Lexicon last updated: 17 August 2013.

4 Responses to W2MPCL

  1. stocktonseeker says:

    dude, awesome! this is more relevant to men than the dsm iv, good stuff

    • Thanks. 🙂 Women are so unrealistic when browsing an online catalogue. I love to maintain frame and hand in person, change my facial and shoulder expression smoothly over 1 or 2 seconds like an incandescent light bulb or CRT TV going off, and I know she leaves without the unnatural ego boost she gets online. They feed on perceived neediness like narcissistic vampires. I have not studied dsm-iv in detail, but I perceive the World Heth Orgamization ostracizes rival masculinity to deh Nu Wurld Odor, any sense of independence, as socially deficient. The Dark Triad is power they want to monopolize. Nuh ah. Ain’t living or dying dutifully in a beta slavery contest.

      • stocktonseeker says:

        yea pretty much, from what ive read the original dsm iv (the i) was like a pocket sized book but since the WHO was created it has become a phone book of made up illnesses and mental disorders… ive had this idea for a while but i’ll share it with you since i think you would get a serious kick out of it…..one of my buddies was using an online dating site called plenty of fish. apparently it is free and you get what you pay for in terms of quality. anyway, he let me look on there one time and virtually every headline or profile from these forgotten children/women contains one or more of the phrases you so eloquently described…you might want to check it out, i bet you could literally find every single one of these i described.
        be ez, the seeker

      • stocktonseeker says:

        yea pretty much, from what ive read the original dsm iv (the i) was like a pocket sized book but since the WHO was created it has become a phone book of made up illnesses and mental disorders… ive had this idea for a while but i’ll share it with you since i think you would get a serious kick out of it…..one of my buddies was using an online dating site called plenty of fish. apparently it is free and you get what you pay for in terms of quality. anyway, he let me look on there one time and virtually every headline or profile from these forgotten children/women contains one or more of the phrases you so eloquently described…you might want to check it out, i bet you could literally find every single one of these you described.
        be ez, the seeker

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